Satire Paper
Sr.English
Mrs.Bruns
February 9th
2015
-William Townsend
Problem: Alcoholism
Solution: We could poison alcohol
The Concept :By poison
you mean poison? Yes now the way I imagine it, is that after you drink a beer
containing the poison, you will get sick and be fine. The second and third time
about same results but the fourth time you will get really sick and have to go
the hospital. You will hopefully recover from that. Now the fifth time, will be
the final nail in the coffin. What's time span you ask well.... Two weeks. This will help the economically as people die
there will be more jobs, meaning sober younger people can take over the ranks.
This would also help with overpopulation because masses of people will
die. You were going to die from
alcoholism anyway. So let's speed up the
process.
How: we will need to get every alcohol/ beer
Company involved with project Poison Snake. We will need a Virus what follows
the “rules” above and we will hopefully create something controllable and very lethal. It only take a short amount of time, for
people to figure out what’s happening and Alcohol sales will drop and world
will be much better place.
After: Imagine
where college kids pass, Drunk drivers don’t exist and think of billions of
brain cells lost every day, we got rid of all the alcohol, Crime will drop
40%.*
*40% of all crime is alcohol
related.
Utopia: I must ask you is it so crazy for thirty six million people
die for the greater good of the world these people are 125% more likely to
commit heinous crimes and put innocent at lives at risk.
ME?: So how does affect me any
shape or form, well it doesn't. I am below drinking age and have no attention
of even really drinking anytime soon.
Frequently asked Question and
Answers
Isn’t this in morale to kill
people?
Its there choice to drink.
Why is fight towards alcohol instead…. Cigarettes
One paper at a time.
Prohibition didn’t work how will this?
Were are eliminating the problem at
its source instead of its branch.
How you going to get support to pass this?
THIS PAPER OF COURSE!
5 Drink seems to low?
Lifes hard….get used to it.
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